Creating Monthly Intentions instead of goal setting
The new year often means new beginnings + fresh starts, making it the perfect time to take a step back and reflect on the good, the bad, and everything in between. In the next few weeks, we’ll hear “new year, new me” and see so many advertisements that feed into the notion that if we change our lives and bodies, we’ll *finally* be happy.
For me, setting goals for the new year has always been an enabler in restrictive living — having goals like, eat less, workout more, lose weight or, get good grades, make more money, etc.— all things that are too broad, strict, or just plain unattainable, leaving me feeling hopeless come February.
Something that I’ve adopted these past few years has been setting monthly intentions versus goals for the new year — helping me to take “what do I want to look like” to “how do I want to feel?” without the “all or nothing” approach.
To be completely transparent, I’m writing this post in the first days of January, but have no plans to set intentions myself for this month. I’ve sat down multiple times + have tried, but I really have not been feeling inspired to think beyond “just be.” That’s the great thing about this practice though is that it’s always here whenever you’re ready.
INTENTIONS VS GOALS, What’s the difference?
Goals are often specific items that can be crossed off your list once achieved — think, workout 3x a week, or save $100 a month. Intentions, on the other hand, do not have limits + instead are about feelings you want to get from certain activities. It’s thinking about the *why* behind these initial goals.
Intentions aren’t entirely different from goals, actually, setting intentions is the first step in setting goals. The difference is that intentions aren’t a checked-off item that’s to be completed each month — it keeps growing and building, allowing you to reflect + adapt. On the other hand, goals are small steps that you can complete to get closer to your intentional feeling.
SETTING YOUR INTENTIONS
So, you’re ready to set an intention, now what? For me, I take time to reflect at the beginning or end of each month on what intentions I’ve set, how they went, if I want to continue that intention with different goals, etc. Everyone will be different, and honestly, my intention setting *flow* is different some months. I do have a typical flow that works for me (most of the time):
1. DO A RELAXING ACTIVITY / GET IN THE ZONE
Watch a movie, get in a workout, take a bath + put on a face mask, listen to tswift, drink some wine, etc. Personally I love doing a Shine mediation prior to intention setting.
This activity doesn’t have to be a stereotypical “self-care” act but instead is about doing whatever calms you + gets your mind moving. If listening to music is something you want to do while you’re intention setting, I have some advice — choose something you don’t know the words to [or if there aren’t any words] as this will help you concentrate on your thoughts rather than absentmindedly singing the lyrics. Though, I have set some great intentions after jamming out to Olivia.
2. WRITE IT OUT
When I’m coming up with my intention, I sit down, set a timer (5 minutes), + brain dump, essentially writing out any + everything that comes to mind when I think about changes I want to make. The key here is writing down everything + anything, without judgment. A lot of the time, I find “eat healthier” or “workout more” find their way on my pages, and that’s okay, these are just words. What’s important is if I follow through with them.
Okay,, let’s go through an example:
Let’s take the goal of “workout more.” Thinking about why you want this to be a goal. Maybe it’s because you want to feel stronger, more capable, more energized, relaxed — the truth is, all of these things can come from more than just working out. So, instead of setting a strict goal of, say working out 3x a week, which can bring out guilt when you don’t complete it, instead think about wanting to feel more energized.
Some questions to ask here can be:
When do I feel energized?
What makes me feel weak?
What activities increase (or decrease) my energy?
How often do I do these activities currently?
The answers to these questions can turn into your goals for your chosen intention. So, if you set an intention to feel more energized and you get this feeling after having a bedtime routine + getting 8 hours of sleep, your first goals can be working on a bedtime routine + getting to bed by a certain time. Both of these things are tangible, attainable things that you can try. Next, think of a few other goals so that you can have choices in the “how” behind your intentions.
The key here is coming up with as many things that you can “try,” as you can — trying out new things that you feel will get you closer to your intentions, giving you flexibility in *how* you do things. It’s not about feeling energized all of the time or not feeling tired, instead, it’s just about feeling more energized.
3. REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR INTENTIONS
When you’ve finished with your intentions and choice of goals, stick ‘em up your desk or mirror, notes app on your phone...anywhere that you can see them daily. If you have a notebook dedicated to your intentions + check-ins, bring this with you to work // school — this might just be my ADHD mind, but making sure your list is visible to you throughout the month helps me to be reminded of my intention.
If you’re looking for a more tangible way to see if you’re following your intentions, try mood tracking! I have a few examples on my planner Pinterest board if you need some inspo.
4. REFLECT
At the end of the month, reflect on your intentions. There’s no need to feel guilty over not accomplishing an intention since intentions are not meant to be *completed*. Instead, focus on the things you gained this month + how you can gain even more in the upcoming month.
By setting intentions around feelings that we want to have more of, our goals can come from a place of abundance, rather than restriction, making them more sustainable + just downright enjoyable. Remember, intentions and their goals aren’t meant to be perfect, so give it a try + let me know how it goes!