can a busybee slow down?
This month’s theme for Illuminate is slowing down. We’re challenged to spend the entire month on one piece. When first reading this, I laugh because I had JUST made one of my monthly goals to write more often — 2-3 times a week, aka the opposite of the challenge. Sarah suggested I do both — write one piece throughout the month and do my quick weekly pieces and compare. Solid advice. I’m not entirely sure if it was out of laziness or fear (probably both), but I decided to stick to the theme — slowing down and only writing one piece.
OKAY, TIME TO SLOW DOWN.
When’s the last time you did ONE thing at a time? I’m talking about watching a movie, and JUST watching the movie. No phone scrolling. No thinking about what you’re going to do after said movie. Just keeping your eyes on the screen and taking it all in. It’s a wild concept honestly.
When I really thought about this, I realized I almost never focus on one thing. Sure, a part of the reason is my anxiety and fast-paced mind, but when really thinking about it, have I ever tried to stop myself from multi-tasking?
In my quest to figure out how to slow down I tried out 3 different methods. The first, self-help. A video about the importance of slowing down. That didn’t work. The second try was journaling. Everyone says journaling can calm the mind. Honestly, this went pretty well, but it wasn’t *quite* the slow down I wanted. I truly don’t think I can focus on one thing so let’s just document the first two —
Slowing Down Take 1
I knew reading a blog post or article would distract me so I searched for a Ted Talk about slowing down. The Unforeseen Consequences of a Fast-Paced World. Close enough.
Two minutes in, I found myself *listening* to the talk, while also scrolling on my phone.
Stop. Focus.
Another few minutes go by…and I realize I’m staring at the wall. Literally. There’s a video right in front of me and I’m choosing to stare at the wall while *listening*.
Stop. Focus on the video. Watch the video. Listen to the words.
Luckily, the video was only 9 minutes so it was over before I could zone out or try doing another task. So, a total of 2ish minutes of focus. Self-help video didn’t go as well as I thought it would.
Slowing Down Take 2
I’m going to journal to try to slow down my mind.
“Okay, let’s make a list.
No. No list. Just write.
Okay, let’s get a drink. A coffee? Tea? No, I don’t really like tea. Stop suggesting tea……….Hot chocolate?
Stop. No drink. Just write.
Okay. Should I write in pen? Marker? OooO maybe I’ll draw instead or should I use a prompt?
Stop. Free style with a pen. Just write.
Okay, I’m starting. Now what? My mind is blank. But yet… hey wait, I’m writing. My hand is writing words??? This is fun. Let’s look around.
Ugh. So close. Get back to writing.
How long has it been? Is this even good? How am I doing?
All of my thoughts are on paper now. I’m reading my thoughts. Wait, am I getting distracted by my own thoughts now?
Stop reading. Just write.
Wow, I just wrote things. Almost a whole page now. So many thoughts about “nothing”. Okay, I’m kind of over this now. This was fun.”
Slowing Down Take 3
My final attempt at slowing down worked. I’m not sure if there’s a time that I should have reached to truly accomplish *slowing down* but I think the few hours I spent solely focused on if I could actually slow down was a success.
So, what was the magic experience that calmed my mind? Writing this post.
All it took for me to slow down — meaning, solely focus on one thing — was to write a blog post about my *failed* experiences of slowing down.
In all seriousness, I realized that slowing down is hard — I need to really focus in order to actually slow down. Doesn’t that seem like it’s defeating the purpose? I seem to equate *slowing down* with *not trying*, but is that truly what it means?
Perhaps slowing down is instead about actually trying. Perhaps slowing down, for me, is making a conscious effort to be in the present. To just do one thing at a time. Woah, full circle.
This post was thanks to Illuminate, a writing community by The Kindred Voice. Here’s what the others in my group created from this month’s theme:
Being in the Moment by Mia Sutton
Slowing Down by Jacey
Time is Irrelevant Right Now by Eunice Brownlee
On Chasing Slow by Sarah Hartley
It's Time to Slow Down by Mala Kennedy
A Way to Practice the Pause: Grounding Exercise by Amy Cook
On the Front Porch, Looking in by Liz Russell
Planning Slowly by Kristin Rouse
Still Spring by Jenn Norrell